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Engaging in More Spiritual Conversations

Rohrmayer Gary — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 06:29:28 +0000

Evangelism has moved in the last 20 years from being a monologue (one-sided conversation) to a dialog (two-way conversation.) There are people all around us who are receptive to spiritual discussions and open genuine spiritual guidance. George Barna sites, "That 62% of American adults consider themselves to be not merely religious, but deeply spiritual." This means that there is more than a 50-50 chance of getting into some type of spiritual conversation with people who travel in and out of your life. Learning to engage people in a meaningful, spiritual dialog is critical for a spiritual leader.

Here are four ideas for increasing the spiritual conversations in your life:

1) Make It a Priority

It is important for a leader to think strategically about their conversations throughout the week. If you don’t plan it or make room for it, the likelihood is that it is not going to get done. I agree with Brian McLaren’s statement, "We should count conversations rather than conversions, not because I don’t believe in conversions, but because I don’t think we’ll get many conversions if we keep emphasizing them." The number of conversations you have is directly related to the number of conversions you will see happen over a year. In coaching church leaders we use the 3 by 5 rule. If leaders are going to be serious about connecting with people they need to uncover at least 5 new contacts a day, equaling about 35 a week, which will lead to 3 "sit-downs" for a meaningful conversation.

How many contacts does it take for you to get a meaningful sit-down with a person?

2) Pray for Opportunities

I remember praying one morning, "Lord, it has been a while time since I led someone to you. Open the doors and show me who I need to speak to today." As soon as I finished praying that prayer a man walked over to me and said, "Doesn’t that book (my pocket Bible) get old after a while?" which I replied, "It gets better every time I read it. Would you like to read it?" He took the Bible and began reading it. This resulted in a number of great conversations that eventually led to him and his family to attend our church and embrace Jesus as Lord and Savior.

When is the last time you asked God to open new doors of opportunity for you?

3) Get out and into your community

All too often we are so isolated from the world in which you live. Look at your calendar and see what fills your week. I encourage church planters to think about tithing their time to community service and interaction. As a planter I put in 60 plus hours a week. This meant about six hours a week out in the community like playing in a noon basketball league on Tuesdays and Thursdays or coaching my children’s baseball and football teams. My week could be filled with serving on various community committees within the school district or through the Chamber of Commerce. It could also involve attending community events or joining professional groups like Toastmasters International. I could easily fill up my six hours a week.

Opportunities abound when we get out into our communities. Jon Cawston, a church planter in Plainfield, IL., joined a local entrepreneurial networking group. After a couple of months of being in this group, he was wondering why he was there and was feeling out of place. Then a crisis took place within the group and he discovered that he instantly become "the chaplain" of the group which led to spiritual conversations.

Can you imagine all the spiritual conversations that could take place if your staff and leaders were encouraged to tithe their time to community service and interaction?

4) Establish routines and cultivate relationships

Beyond the tithe of your time in your community I encourage leaders to establish routines and patterns so that you build relational presence with business owners and servers. Think strategically about all your interactions and pray that you can be a redemptive influence within that social network. A couple of tell tale signs of this is, "Do people know your name?" or "Do you know peoples names?" Reggie McNeal loves to ask his servers, "I am going to pray for my meal and I always pray for my server. Is there anything I can pray for you specifically?" I can see this really working as you cultivate relationships and move them from the mundane to the spiritual.

What places do you frequent in your community?

Jesus, Paul and James used the analogy of the farmer when it comes to spiritual leaders patiently sowing, working and cultivating the work of the gospel. When it comes to engaging in spiritual conversations you need to have an attitude of a farmer, faithfully working and cultivating your community. The first two suggestions deal with the leader’s attitude, the next two suggestions deal with putting leaders in a position for engagement.

I learned a simple lesson over twenty-five years ago from an old missionary who said these words to me, "Gary you can’t serve God where you are not!" That statement helped me move away from dreaming about future ministry to engaging myself in the daily personal ministry right in front of me every day.

Creating Thirst in Your Spiritual Conversations

Rohrmayer Gary — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 06:33:16 +0000

In my opinion most of the evangelistic training that is available is geared towards non-receptive people and is apologetically driven. Don’t get me wrong, I believe we should all be trained and be able to give a reason for what we believe. But I am convinced there needs to be more training on how to identify those who have a higher degree of receptivity to the gospel message.

Here are some "quick hits" on how to create thirst in your spiritual conversations:

1. Look for God’s work in the lives of people

In light of man’s natural bent away from God and the things of God (Ephesians 2:1-3) we can easily see the hand of God drawing in someone. Leonard Sweet writes, "Postmodern evangelism is recognizing that God is already at work in people’s lives before we arrive on the scene and that our role is helping people to see how God is present and active in their lives, calling them home." The Father is drawing people to himself (John 6:44). The Son is seeking the lost (Luke 19:10). The Holy Spirit is convicting the world (John 16:8). All we need to do is figure out how to get into God’s redemptive flow and recognize his hand on the lives of those around us.

If someone expresses interest in Jesus, the Bible or church…these are good signs. If people are taking steps forward such as attending events, worship services, small groups or if someone is open to a conversation with you on spiritual things…this is God at work. We need to bring our complete focus and our dependence on God because he is working right in front of us.

In reality evangelism is more about "spotting" than creating. It is more about "joining" than initiating.

2. Practice the "man of peace" principle

The "Man of Peace Principle" is a Scriptural concept Jesus taught his disciples as he sent them out on a mission. In Luke 10:5-6 Jesus said, "When you enter a house, first say, ’Peace to this house.’ If a man of peace is there, your peace will rest on him; if not, it will return to you. Stay in that house, eating and drinking whatever they give you, for the worker deserves his wages. Do not move around from house to house." (Luke 10:5-6 NIV) The term "man of peace" literally means "a man who is searching for peace."

Consider a few Scriptural examples of men and women of peace and the profound impact that they had in their sphere of influence:

-Andrew - John 1:35-42
-The woman at the well - John 4:1-26; 39-42
-Levi - Luke 5:27-32
-Cornelius - Acts 1-48

What does a man or woman of peace look like? Here are a few things to look for: 1) They are not just open to the gospel but they receive the gospel freely. 2) They are in a position of great influence over their family, friends and within the community. 3) They have the ability to introduce church planters into their sphere of influence effectively. 4) They are also great "bringers and includers" of others into the life of the church.

How does one identify a man or woman of peace? Jesus instructed his disciples, "When you enter a house, first say, ’Peace to this house.’" (Luke 10:5 NIV) Apparently there was something in a way a person responded to the blessing "Peace to this house" that revealed the level of receptivity in that house. I would contend that it is our duty to discover the "Peace to this house" statement for our generation.

3. Be willing to take a risk

Darryn Scheske, one of the best evangelists I know, writes, "In my experience, engaging in Spirit-led spiritual conversations with others always requires me to take a personal risk of some kind. You see, nearly every opportunity to have a spiritual conversation will produce some kind of anxiety in me. Usually I’m too tired. Or, I’m on my way somewhere else and I really don’t have the time. Or, I might be intimidated by the person; their life circumstances or credentials. I might just be afraid of what they will think. If you’re going to seek out spiritual conversations, they won’t come when you’re ready or available. They happen in the middle of your everyday life."

4. Learn to ask good questions

Being too directive can come across as intrusive and pushy. Trusting the Holy Spirit to plant and nurture the seeds that have been sown through good questions is vital to creating and sustaining spiritual conversations. Randy Newman in his book Questioning Evangelism writes, "By asking questions in our evangelism, our conversations can lead to conversions, rather than presentations that lead to preconceptions. An exchange of ideas might lead both participants to the truth of the gospel. For one participant, it will be the first arrival at that point; for the other participant, it will be a rediscovery and a new appreciation of the message of the Cross."

Here are a couple questions I have used:

-Do you believe people are on a spiritual journey?
-Do you have any type of spiritual heritage in your background?
-Have you read a good book on spirituality lately?
-Have you ever heard what the difference is between Christianity and religion?
-When you think about God what image comes into your mind?

5. Get into their stories

Get people talking about themselves, the more you get them talking, the more you can discover God’s hand in their lives. Remember, it is not about you, it is about them and their lives, their journey and their eternity. Every church planter should read the classic relational text, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. This timeless text is based on the biblical principle: "Do to others as you would have them do to you" (Luke 6:31). Relational prowess will increase as you connect sincerely and authentically with the world around you.

6. Get permission to go deeper

This is simply a loving and polite act to get someone’s permission to take the conversation to another level. Get permission to explore a question or topic further. "Do you have time to explore the topic in more depth?" Ask for their permission to tell the story around your spiritual journey. "My spiritual journey was an eye opening experience. Do you have a minute for me to give you the Cliff notes version?" Ask for their OK in offering a suggested resource or the next step in the relationship. "Could I send you an article on the subject? It might be helpful in giving you another perspective."

7. Guard your heart

The heart never lies! People smell a "fake" from a mile away. A genuine love for people and a servant’s spirit is attractive to people. If my motives are questionable people will intuitively perceive it. We all need to take heed to Peter’s words, "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." (I Peter 3:15-17)

Essential Skills for Missional Leaders

Rohrmayer Gary — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 15:58:25 +0000

The church is desperately in need for more missional leaders to rise up in it ranks. Here are four essential skills that help a leader align their churches with God’s mission.

1. Empowering those around them.

Missional leaders are multiplying leaders. They understand that within the Great Commission they have all they need to get the job done. They have been empowered with spiritual authority, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me." (Matthew 28:18 NIV) They have been entrusted with a specific task, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you." (Matthew 28:19-20 NIV) They have the encouraging promise of His presence to help them along the way, "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:20 NIV)

Missional leaders understand that the mission is bigger than them and that they will need hundreds and thousands of other leaders to achieve God’s missional goals. They make it their business to always be on the search for emerging leaders, with the eye of an eagle they look for those who possess the raw leadership skills. My friend, Tom Nebel, likes to say that he is not a recruiter but just a spotter always looking for potential in those around him. They are leaders who never do anything alone. They always have some one along observing because they understand the power of the informal equipping process and that more is caught than taught in leadership settings. They understand that everything the church does revolves around one aim "make disciples". If a church is good at making disciples it will be good at making leaders because in the end, a good spiritual formation plan will lead to an accelerated spiritual multiplication. Missional leaders are always evaluating and tweaking the spiritual formation process or system to see if they are hitting their mark.

Missional leaders know what it is to be entrusted by someone with a task. They have, over time, cultivated the art of delegating responsibility to trusted leaders. They take the time to communicate expectations, responsibilities and parameters of the job. They provide guidance and encouragement through coaching. They provide positive reinforcement through celebrating the smallest victory in that leader’s ministry. When I think of an empowering leader my mind always runs to Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, who earned the nickname "Barnabas, son of encouragement." (Acts 4:36 NIV) Barnabas was a ’leader-maker’ who sought out potential leaders, who generously created opportunities for leaders to develop their area of giftedness and who walked alongside, nurturing leaders to encouragement. Barnabas sought out Saul, who became Paul, and together they sparked a revolution that still burns today all over the world.

2. Building and maintaining healthy relationships.

The mission of God is a relational mission. His plan is to use people to reach people. His plan is to use frail human beings to supernaturally build his church and unlock the Kingdom of Heaven:

"And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven". (Matthew 16:18-19 NIV)

Missional leaders know that developing strong interpersonal skills is critical to their effectiveness. They must care for those who need care. They must listen attentively while others are speaking. When they are corrected they receive it humbly. When they need to be confronting negative behavior in others they speak the truth in love. They know how to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. The Bible is full of teachings on how Christians are to love those outside the church and those inside the family of God.

Missional leaders understand they are called to love (Mark 12:28-30) and called to build loving communities. Jesus said, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another". (John 13:34-35 NIV) Francis Schaeffer in his book, "Mark of the Christian" makes this sobering comment on this verse, "In the midst of the world, in the midst of our present culture, Jesus is giving a right to the world. Upon His authority He gives the world the right to judge us whether you and I are born-again Christians on the basis of our observable love towards all Christians". (pg 187)

Missional leaders rise to this challenge and do the tough work of building loving relationships throughout the church.

3. Creating ministry teams.

Teamwork is essential to achieving God’s missional purposes. One man said, "It is not biblical to think of ministering alone." Jesus modeled ministering to large crowds (Matthew 7:28) along with ministering within a small unit or a team where more intimacy and authenticity was cultivated. (Luke 6:12-16) Paul went out on mission endeavors with a ministry partner and a ministry apprentice. (Acts 13:1-5; 16:1) The early church launched large (Acts 2:41) and at the same time grew small as they met in homes sharing their lives together. (Acts 2:46) There are no Lone Rangers in Christianity (by the way, didn’t the Lone Ranger have Tonto on his side?)

Missional leaders know that their church will only grow as large as its capacity to provide ongoing care through a network of small groups and ministry teams. They understand that their church’s impact will only extend to the point that they are continually developing shepherd leaders to lead, care and facility these little platoons. They have experienced the power of seeing mentoring relationships spring out of the smaller settings of ministry. They have seen these small groups adopted a family in need and minister to them with personal care. They know that these groups are not just an add-on or just another program in the church but the very health center of the church.

Missional leaders see the great opportunities that small groups promise but they also see the great pitfalls that they can bring. This is why they spend hours training, coaching and encouraging leaders. This is why they start with great care and manage them with close supervision.

4. Designing & developing healthy church systems.

The Apostle Paul wrote, "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel". (Philippians 1:27-28 NIV) The image of contending means striving together or fighting side by side as in an athletic contest or team sport. I personally like the term ’synergy’ which is defined "the interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects". (American Heritage College Dictionary) Missional leaders know how to build synergy throughout their church, aligning all the individual pieces to work together for a greater outcome. This is accomplished through their understanding of functional church systems or structures.

What are church systems? Church Systems are reproducible processes by which the church actualizes its values and achieves its mission. Missional leaders know how to design these systems, to create processes that are manageable and measurable. Not only do they know how to designed them but they also know how to development and tweak them all the way with out losing momentum. Michael Gerber wrote, "Systems run the business and people run the systems". Missional leaders understand that healthy systems are only as good as the people who are running them and that time, energy and resources need to be invested in these leaders who are running these systems that are critical to fulfilling God’s mission.

Final thoughts

The Army Leadership Manual says, "a true leader in not satisfied with knowing only how to do what will get the organization through today; you must also be concerned about what it will need tomorrow." (pg 13) Missionally driven leaders get the job done and are always anticipating the next step the church needs to make to achieve God’s missional purpose through the local church. Knowing the next steps for your church is what makes the difference between a leader and a follower. Followers are looking for direction, leaders are thinking about the next decision, the next hurdle and the next level for the organization. My prayer is that through this article that your passion for God’s mission will grab your heart and your desire to grow as a leader burns with great intensity.