Bar Staff

A mixture of hot young Swedish girls that talk with a slight accent and friendly Eastern Europeans will be recruited to collect glasses. Martin Clunes and Ricky Gervais will be recruited to pull the pints and will be helped on a part time basis by TVs Bill Bailey. Shaun Slater from Eastenders, Tony Soprano and Evander "the real deal" Holyfield will work the door. The special one Jose Morinho will manage the bar on the owner Peggy Mitchell’s behalf and Stephen Fry will host the weekly pub quiz. In the event of the pub needing some nasty underhand work done Steve Buscemi will be employed.

Building

The building will be a traditional Ye Olde English chocolate box style building. It will preferably be thatched with a log fire for the winter. The beer garden will have a patio heater for every table in the winter and these will be replaced with patio umbrellas in the summer.

The BBQ section of the pub garden will feature a permanent pork spit roast that will serve up crackling and apple sauce as an optional side order to the traditional pork roll with stuffing. The tables in the beer garden will have a slight wobble for that truly authentic touch.

Location

Choosing the right location for the pub was a tricky decision. Early suggestions recommended Melbourne, Australia (on the off chance that the cast of neighbours would become regulars). Suggestions were also made that suggested that it be placed in Thailand, Cape Town, Tokyo, LA, or New York. General consensus swung to Hawaii (on a glorious white sandy beach within sight of, but safe distance from, a volcano that would erupt once every week). Eventually however we opted for placing it 7 minutes’ walk from my house. This was regardless of where ’my house’ was and would necessitate the use of teleportation technology for the building.

Services

One of the most contentious issues is whether or not to have big screen TVs plastering the walls. Final deliberation settled for a screen free bar except for mini screens in the toilets above the urinals. Wall sized super screens would be pulled down from the ceilings for big sporting events.

The biggest debate was whether or not to include a high end cocktail bar. After much consternation and the sampling of a few tequila daiquiris and a round of long island Ice teas it was eventually decided that it would be a good idea after all this is the modern world and we are modern men. Cocktails must include a cocktail umbrella.

Equipment

Each table will have its own fully stocked mini bar and swivel optic machine. The pub will also have a revolutionary donation payment system that will require the pub goer to make a reasonable donation into a bucket as they leave thus reducing the necessity of carrying pocketfuls of change this will also reduce expenditure on staff that will mean drinks will be cheaper.

The pub will also feature an amusement style grabber machine in the corner. Our version will not drop the prize you have skilfully selected for no reason whatsoever. 90% of the questions the pub quiz machine will ask will be answerable with only 10% requiring an ’educated guess’.

The pub will of course have the conventional weekly quiz. This quiz will however not feature girly celebrities, like that one from desperate Housewives, in the picture round. The bar will also feature a monster ice machine that will provide unlimited ice to the patrons.

The average life expectancy at birth for the World in 2007 is 65.82. The UK is well above this world average as people in Britain are expected to live until they are 78.7. The UK is 37th on the CIA list slightly below Belgium (78.92) and Germany (78.95). At 37 the UK ranks 8 places above the USA on the table. Americans are expected on average to live until they are 78.

Sub-Saharan Africa demonstrates the lowest life expectancies. Swaziland is bottom of the list with a desperate life expectancy of 32.23 years. Lesotho, Zimbabwe, Angola and Zambia all have expectancies below 40 years old. Andorra tops the list with over twice that of the bottom five at 83.52 years. Japan is third on the list with an expectancy of 82.02 years.

The life expectancy of Swaziland is comparable to Upper Paleolithic times when the average life span for a human was 33 years old. People living in Classical Greece, Classical Rome and Medieval Britain were expected to live between 20 and 30 years with the introduction of sewer systems and increased medical care facilitating a rise in life expectancy to 30-40 in the early 20th century.

In Europe gender differences have been lessening in recent years however women are still expected to outlive men. The prevalence of HIV/AIDS is said to largely accountable for the low expectancy in Sub-Saharan Africa. Whilst other regions of the world have experience a steady increase since 1950 Sub-Saharan Africa is the only region to have experienced a decrease in life expectancy.

Insurance companies use the information found in mortality tables to price their insurance products. The people that make these calculations are called Actuaries. In life insurance Actuaries use mathematical and statistical methods to calculate the risk of death of a policy holder. The three main variables that affect a mortality table are gender, age and the use of tobacco.

The mortality tables help ascertain; the probability of someone exceeding a particular age; a person’ remaining life expectancy; the proportion of the original birth cohort that are still alive and; is able to estimate the characteristics that contribute to longevity. Tables are usually calculated differently for Men and Women. Life Insurance companies will often require a large amount of information from their potential clients. This enables them to calculate the policy effectively.

Byzantine Greeks were known to take shade under a surplus sail during their battles with western crusaders in the 12th Century. Shade sails are the modern incarnation of this activity. The 1990s saw a new part of its history born as companies in America and Australia began manufacturing and selling shade sails.

Sail shades and shade sails are terms that are interchangeable but generally refer to fabric structures that are erected to provide protection from the sun. The design replicates the look of a ships sail hence the name. There is no formal education for shade sail manufacturers and the industry is self-taught.

It is therefore important that if you are looking to purchase a shade sail you are discerning about the company you use. To help you find the right shade sail take time to consider the following:

Function

Shade sails can provide shade for an enormous range of places. With the introduction of the smoking ban in the UK bars, pubs and restaurants are looking for ways to shade smokers and shade sails are fast becoming a favoured option. Shade sails have been used to cover Pool areas, Patios, Spas and BBQs. Many have been utilised as temporary car covers.

Shade sails also offer a stylish form of cover for walkways, school playgrounds and gardens. They differ from gazebos and tarpaulins in that they generally focus on providing shade from the sun and are not designed to protect from the rain or snow. They benefit from being semi-permanent and do not require planning permission.

Anchorage

The sail shade comes in a number of sizes and designs. They are mostly square with four corner points or triangle with three corner points. The corners of the sails can be connected to most permanent fixtures such as walls or metal posts. It is important that the anchorage points are strong because for maximum effect the sail must be taught. The points can be set at different levels to provide a dynamic feel. Good shade sails have adjustable links on the corners.

Site

It is important to consider the factors that might hinder the effectiveness of your shade sail before you decide whether to erect one. Sails can produce a great deal of lift if they are set up in a windy area. If they are used to cover a BBQ they should be situated in such a way that they will not be in danger of igniting.

It is important to consider the prevailing direction of the sun to make sure they are correctly placed. You should also consider other external factors that might result in problems such as electrical cables, telephone cables and water pipes.

Design

Choosing the design that suits you is essential. Many companies offer the opportunity to bespoke the design of your shade sail to make sure you get exactly what you want. This often incorporates the choice of hundreds of colours and a variety of different fabrics.

The shape of the sail may also be changed to meet your needs. Many companies import sail shades from China that are ready made. These tend to come in a limited choice of colours and sizes but can offer a cheaper option.

Fabric

There are many different types of fabric and it is important to choose the right one for you. Generally shade sails provide a low maintenance mesh that provides shade from the sun. These benefit from a breathable fabric that makes the temperature underneath cooler.It is important to look for a fabric that has been strengthened with edge webbing because sail shades that have been made this way will last longer.

Health

Many companies shout about the cancer reducing effect of their shade sails. A cynic might say that this is a callous, cheap shot that attempts to abuse the fears of the consumer to make money but sail shades have been proven to cut out 90% of the harmful UV rays which is no bad thing.

In previous years djs have been restricted to having to press their own vinyl records to play un-released music, but now there are several options. CD based vinyl emulators such as the excellent numark cdx & cdj800 by pioneer enable djs to play their own music or any un-released tracks and still have the full control offered by vinyl and more.

Some digital software and hardware combination packages are used to play mp3s straight from a computer, such as final scratch by stanton or serato scratch by rane and are extremely useful.

Often I see club djs using such software, the advantages are so great that many people are switching over from classic vinyl. What does this mean for the average clubber? Well expect to hear more variation in music selection across all fields of music.

I upgraded my dj Gear about 6 months ago and haven never looked back. Whereas in the past I was using just a pair of technics sl1210 decks and a two-channel dj mixer a djm400, now I have implemented much more into my set-up, at a very affordable price. Now I have several choices on how I wish to play.

I have serato scratch which enables me to play and mix any mp3 file I want as vinyl. I also bought a korg kaos pad 3 for advanced effects. For nightclub use I always carry my numark axis 9 cd player so I can play my own productions, but for a more live feel I use the amazing new ableton live software. This powerful new tool enables producers and djs to remix, loop and generally modify their tracks on-the-fly for a complete new music experience.

As opposed to the old way of having to carry large amounts of vinyl in your swan flight record cases to a club (or paying someone to carry it for you!) nowadays a cd wallet or even a usb memory stick enables your entire music collection to be easily carried and played as vinyl.

One of the most recent additions to this world is mixing in a pure digital way with ipod music players. New hardware such as the numark idj2 mixing console looks like it will end up being a extremely popular method for djs. The capacity of some ipods is absolutely enormous, no longer is there a need to carry 100 vinyl records around everywhere, now I can carry 100 times as much music in my pocket!

Another great addition are digital audio recorders such as the ikey and ikey plus. Rather than having to record directly to pc or using cassette tapes, audio runs directly into the unit and can be saved as mp3 or WAV files. These are amazingly useful to record live sets and are a very welcome addition indeed.

But despair not: there is a growing market in used equipment that has all the benefits of new equipment but without the retailer mark up.

Music

The most important piece of kit for any DJ is the music. It is essential that a DJ has an expansive range of music. Accumulating the vast quantities of records that you need can be extremely expensive. With new records retailing at around pounds 7 the savings you can make by buying used are massive.

The same record can often be found for pounds 2 if it has been pre-owned. It is important to check that the record is not damaged and meets the standards you expect.

Most online services that host adverts for people selling used goods have stringent rules that ensure that the goods people sell live up to the description that is given. If the item is said to be in excellent condition then it likely will be. Its definitely worth the punt if you are saving pounds 5 on each record.

Decks

Decks are the most important piece of kit for the DJ and making savings in this area will allow the aspiring DJ to make the most of a tight budget. It is important to try not to make compromises with the quality of the equipment. b-stock, ex-display, ex-demonstration, repackaged and reconditioned items provide items at reduced price.

These items often come in good condition with only minor superficial blemishes or simply lacking the original packaging. Most even come with a guarantee that would rival a new item and therefore represent an excellent option for a good deal.

Used decks can provide enormous savings if you are willing to purchase decks with history. It is probably advised that you avoid buying used belt drive decks as they tend to have a limited life span and may not have long left.

Sound System

The sound system will allow you to share your DJ offerings to the masses. A good set of speakers and a high quality amp is essential if you plan to use your decks to play gigs. So if youre planning to play in public it is worth considering used equipment so you can make the most of your budget.

Again repackaged and reconditioned items are well worth considering as they generally come with a guarantee and only suffer from a lack of original packaging or minor superficial marks. The savings can be massive. A full PA system that usually retails for pounds 600 can be found in new b-stock for only 345 pounds.

Mixer

A used mixer generally costs less than half the price of a new one. The savings you make can be massive. A numark rm6 mixer can be found for around pounds 100; pounds 200 cheaper than the list price. This is the area of your setup where you can make savings that really enable you to maximise your budget. Use the savings to take a few steps up in standard and it will make a noticeable difference to the quality of your setup.

Headphones, Microphones and Extras

Large savings can be made on headphones especially if you are looking to purchase used items. Numark, Sony, Denon and Technics headphones can be found for less than half of their retail price. Microphones can be found at 40% of their original cost.

Even items such as stands that do not need to be new can be found considerably cheaper on the used market. So if you are looking for supplementary items you do not need to compromise on quality just accept products that dont come in the brand new packaging.

We will consider the three main resin systems which are roller coatings, self levellers and screeds. Generally the thicknesses of these systems are 100 and 500 microns, 1mm to 4mm, and 6mm to 9mm respectively.

Due to the thin section of coatings, there is a restriction on the size of aggregate, and therefore the value of slip resistance, available. The size of aggregate should never exceed twice the thickness of the coating because it would be susceptible to being plucked out by sheer forces.

The installation process is simple enough, but it must always be borne in mind that the success of this system is very dependent upon correct and adequate surface preparation. Too little preparation and the coating will peel off in sheets due to lack of adhesion, too much and the texture will show through a thin coating. For this reason the installation of coatings is best left to professionals.

Once the first primer coat has been rolled down, the selected aggregate is scattered into it. Dependent upon how much anti-slip is required, the size and distribution of the additive will be varied. The choice of additive also varies from Bauxite and granite which are both exceptionally hard wearing, to marble and carborundum, which both offer decorative effects.

Once the scatter has taken place, the primer should be left to cure. A top sealer coat is then applied, and this fastens the aggregate in place. The next thickness of resin floor is the self-leveller. There are two ways of rendering this anti-slip.

Firstly, after the resin has been laid, a quartz aggregate is scattered into it until the resin is absolutely saturated in aggregate and in fact is not visible due to the volume of aggregate scattered. The method of scattering the aggregate must be in small quantities which are broadcast in a similar fashion to that used for feeding chickens with corn. No large clumps or massive hand full should be dropped in one spot, because it could completely disturb the resin leaving a bald spot on the floor.

The floor is left to cure, and then it is swept to remove all loose aggregate. All remaining aggregate is bonded to the resin, but as with the roller-coat, it is subjected to a top sealer coat to fasten the aggregate in place. The deeper section of the self-leveller enables larger aggregate to be used, and thus a substantial anti-slip profile can be achieved.

The ability to clean the floor must always be considered when selecting the anti-slip materials.

The second way of achieving anti-slip is by laying the self-leveller with a smooth surface profile, and then sealing it after it has cured, with a top coat into which a fine aggregate can be scattered. A second top-coat fastens the aggregate in place.

This system is normally used when a fine surface texture is required since only small aggregate can be used in the top sealer coat due to its thin section.

Screeds which are generally 6mm upwards normally have a heavy duty aggregate added to them as part of their natural make-up. If coarse sand is one component, then this normally imparts a good anti-slip texture to the finished screed which might need no further treatment to render it anti-slip.

Where the screeds are laid and finished with a steel trowel to a smooth finish, if anti-slip is required, it would generally be imparted by the use of a top sealer-coat with aggregate scattered in, as for coatings and self- levellers.

A mystery shopping programme prepared and managed by a professional company, involves using highly trained assessors posing as customers (for many assessors mystery shopping is in fact a full time professional career). These assessors interact with branches or departments of an organisation, typically to assess their customer service and sales performance standards.

Reports are provided which usually comprise how the organisation has performed in relation to pre-agreed questions (these questions are formulated at the commencement of a programme and should integrate seamlessly with the organisations sales and service standards). Within retail, a typical report format would be split into a number of subsections covering areas such as ’First Impressions’, ’Meeting & Greeting’, ’Product Demonstration’, ’Recommendation’ and ’Close & Upsell’

Mystery shopping comes in a number of varieties, telephone, (where a recording of the call is also provided), email/website for complete evaluation of customers’ online experiences (including the order fulfilment process), report-based mystery shopping visits and video mystery shopping visits, the latest and fastest growing service, which provides high quality video footage of the entire customer experience by utilising assessors wearing the latest hidden video camera technology.

It has long been recognised that mystery shopping across a retail network can identify through league tables an organisation’s shining stars as well as their pits of despair! Well today the level of reporting and depth of analysis is being taken to new levels. Many mystery shopping companies can now provide a wide range of reporting available online, allowing you to track the precise progress of your programme, as well as conduct analysis for your entire estate or pre-selected outlets in areas such as which day of the week or which profile of staff (male/female, under 25s/ over40s etc) are delivering the best service.

Also, which product category your staff perform best with, and of course which areas of performance are improving or declining. A useful recent addition is also the ability for retailers to now benchmark their performance in key areas against averages for the retail sector.

Where mystery shopping has seen significant strides in recent years is in the understanding that it can provide not only a powerful and accurate means of measuring performance, but also be used as crucial tool for driving improvements. Many organisations have come to realise that measuring alone will not necessarily create a change in staff behaviours.

Nowhere is this more evident than when using video mystery shopping. The key for creating change is about getting staff to recognise service issues and understand the need for change. Many forward thinking retailers are now conducting regular video mystery shopping visits across their retail networks and then critically having a structured video review mechanism that involves individual retail staff self-evaluating the video footage of their branch’s performance, creating their own action planning and buying into a programme for change.

Interactive DVDs are made available to highlight best practice for both induction training and continuous coaching development. These real-life examples of service delivery from real staff seem to have so much more impact than sanitized training videos featuring actors.

Certainly one of downsides of embarking on a mystery shopping programme, is once you start its very hard to stop, some describe it like going on a diet, if you are disciplined and you eat properly and take the right exercise you will lose weight, once you stop those good practices, the pounds start piling back on, and lets face it there is nothing more depressing than an overweight retailer!

Gaining and keeping the trust of the customer has become of paramount importance to a business. So how can a business stay relevant to the increasingly cynical consumer? Customer service has become serious. It is no longer a gimmick where employees are encouraged to chant have a nice day in the hope that this will appease poor service. Nowadays customer is king… and king does not bargain!

Mahatma Ghandi recognised the importance of customer service,a customer is the most important visitor on our premises, he is not dependent on us. We are dependent on him. He is not an interruption in our work. He is the purpose of it. He is not an outsider in our business. He is part of it. We are not doing him a favour by serving him. He is doing us a favour by giving us an opportunity to do so.

Transforming your business so that it is focussed on the customer is essential. So how does customer service training benefit your staff and how will it help improve the service you offer?

Call centre training

Call centre training will help your staff understand that there are many different types of customers. Staff will learn that the needs and expectations of these customers are different and will be taught different methods of dealing with them. Call centre training will teach how to answer the phone using effective voice, tone and inflexion. It will teach how to communicate positively and deal with complaints and difficult situations. It will also help develop the ability to listen to the customer to build confidence and respect.

Complaints handling

Complaints handling training will help your staff develop their listening skills, questioning skills and use of language to diffuse anger. They will also be taught to communicate empathy, confidence and assertion. It will be an effective way of building customer confidence after something has gone wrong. It will make your staff receptive to suggestions that can help improve your business. Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning. (Bill Gates)

Telephone skills

Telephone skills are an integral part of any business. It is important that employees are taught about the image that one presents on the phone. The course will encourage a positive attitude to communicating over the phone and develop an assertive style and approach to communication. It will also teach skills such as confirming details and summarising the information that the customer gives to make sure you provide an effective service.

Developing a customer focus approach

It is important that the entire organisation is bound together in developing a customer focussed approach. Staff training will help create a positive working environment that takes into account the lifetime value of a customer. Recognising that customer service is everyones responsibility, regardless of position will ensure your company provides a cohesive service to your customer.

Face-to-face customer service

Face to face customer service training will help your staff develop effective use of language and body language to create rapport with the customer. It will help staff identify different customers behavioural types and how to keep a positive approach when dealing with aggressive behaviour.

It will help provide all the techniques and skills needed to meet, greet and interact with customers. As well as providing techniques and how to handle difficult situations, complaints and anger in a professional way.