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A Cancer Survivor Story: "You Are Going To Die!"

Drambour Gregory — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 04:41:56 +0000

One of my more dramatic experiences with a doctor was with the head of radiation oncology at a top hospital in NY. When he found out I had been doing an alternative protocol for a year since the diagnosis, he looked directly at me and said, "Greg, if you don’t something, you are going to die!" I didn’t react. What was the point! I knew from his perspective that’s how he saw my actions.

I saw from a deeper place in that moment that his confrontation was coming from a place of wanting to help me; it was coming from his medical training and his day-to-day life as an oncologist with patients dying on him.

If you do decide to pursue an alternative protocol, you have to ready yourself for these types of encounters. You want to be able to see these doctors with innocence. They are truly doing the best they can. I can not imagine what it’s like to be in business where people die on you. I don’t care how numb or detached doctors become; it’s having an effect on them.

A few years after that experience when I did finally opt for conventional treatment, I told my doctor that story. He said, "Greg, you should have told him, ’we’re all going to die sometime!’ That would have been clever and the truth and for while after he told me that I wished I had said it. I don’t feel that way now. I think the understanding no-reply was the more loving response and kept me in a good feeling place.

One thing you don’t want to do in a moment like that is try and convince that doctor otherwise! Don’t get into a debate. It will only pull you into a bad place. Just let it be and let him has his opinion. If you are going to do an alternative protocol, this lack of understanding of your choice might come from many directions: family, friends, coworkers. Don’t, and I repeat, don’t let yourself get sucked into a bad feeling defending your choice.

Keep your boundaries. And if people in your life can’t respect them, then sadly it might be time to keep some distance from that person. Of course, after you have done everything you can to communicate to them in a healthy way your boundaries.

Remember the actions you take on your path of healing is a healing in of itself. This is the path of a warrior. They focus on "how" they do something.

Keep responding with love to all those around you. More love, equals more healing. That’s a formula for victory!

Fear In The Red Rocks Of Sedona

Drambour Gregory — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 01:58:35 +0000

In the early evening, I went hiking and climbing for a few hours by myself in the big red rocks. I climbed up further then I’ve ever been. I stopped at a red rock plateau way above the town. What a view of Sedona! I could see all the way to Court House Rock.

I felt something pushing me to go further. So up I went. The degree of steepness and danger increased with each 1O meters. I was scrambling on a lot of loose rocks which were unstable. I hesitated for a moment but then as always I kept following that gut feeling that has served me so well and kept climbing. I could see that I was nearing a towering red rock face. Something kept pulling me towards it.

When I got to the cliff face, I sat down and went into that place of stillness, trusting that there was something that Spirit wanted me to feel or see. After about five minutes nothing came and then I felt inside it was time to descend. I wondered what this inner guidance was all about. As you can probably tell this is a very dangerous place. I would never take clients here. No worries!

The decent was steep and again a lot of unstable little rocks underfoot. I felt myself being pulled to the left and questioned briefly if that’s why I was drawn to the cliff face. I would not have descended this way but it was only 100 feet from the way I had come up. So I went down, always being very careful, talking to myself, "Easy Greg, careful, stay focused".

I stopped to get some water and looked around. The area I was standing in looked totally unfamiliar and I could not see the way I had come up. As I climb I always make sure I can retreat on the same line. I didn’t see that line! So I could be descended into a cliff drop! A wave of fear ran thru my body and I could feel that sinking feeling on the edge of my emotions, ready to sweep in. Having hiked a lot off-trail in the Sedona area, I know how easily you can get yourself into serious trouble very fast. 50 ft cliff drops have a way of appearing out of nowhere.

My experience hiking off-trail has taught me a great deal and it really served me well on this beautiful Sedona evening. Now instead of panicking, I sat still for a few moments and do what all good climbers and hikers should do: situation assessment and equipment inventory. I had about 1 hour max until twilight set in and enough water for at least three hours plus cell phone that was operational. I just went quieter listening for my inner guidance.

After a few moments it guided me to explore the line of descent I was making another a few hundred meters and if nothing appeared to show me a clear way down I would back-track to the cliff face. The fear inside me has eased considerably. I made sure I greeted the little plants along the descent, "A Ho, brothers, A Ho sisters." Always remembering–if you honor them, they will honor you.

I kept talking to myself as I took one step at a time over the unstable gravel and pebbles, "Easy, brother, one step at a time." When I got to the distance I had marked, I could see that the topography (finally got to use this word!) appeared to be transitioning into the base of the mountain. Let me stress the word "appeared". It’s not always as it looks. But my inner guidance said, go for it and I did. Within about ten minutes I was safely down at the base!

I was unsure of how far I was from the trail head I had veered off to start the climb but I knew it was the in "that" direction. Again first stopping to check how much light I had left and to make sure every 500 meters I was heading the right way, not getting over confident. After about 20 minutes I found the trail and stopped and offered my deepest thanks to the Old Ones and the Rock and Plant People for watching over me.

Why tell this story? I have seen this kind of scenarios end up badly. I saw clearly how I didn’t let fear get me un-centered. I felt the fear and didn’t try and run from it. I let it motivate me to slow down and quiet down even more than I was. I gave my experience a chance to form itself. I was patient and did not get ahead of myself. And I was grateful for my experience to lead me down the mountain safely. I saw that I have truly learned something over the years and was proud of myself.

Ultimately, I was grateful that I followed my inner guidance to climb as high as I did. I wouldn’t have learned as much about myself and trust and using emotions if I hadn’t.

That’s part of living here in the Magic Kingdom: you never quite know what a little early evening stroll will bring!

Don’t Parachute Into The Maze!

Drambour Gregory — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 20:29:12 +0000

"Don’t parachute into the maze" was a phrase I spoke in the middle of a session with a client. I quickly wrote it down! I was referring to the maze of our thinking. We don’t want to jump out of the plane and into the maze of our thinking! No matter how pretty that maze looks from above. "Oh, look down there, isn’t this lovely, let’s parachute down there and see if we can find our way out, it will be a challenge!" But when you get inside of the maze, the perspective changes: you can’t see! And then you think, "Maybe if I go down this row, I’ll find an opening. No, no let me go this way." Does this sound familiar, brothers and sisters?

Jumping into the maze is usually ignited by a need to control. You’re up in that plane, thinking about jumping and of course you feel afraid, you’re out of your safety zone! The first place we go is our thinking. Have you ever seen a maze from above? It’s beautiful with its symmetry and high green walls. There’s something familiar about its complexity, its challenge.

Our thinking will always make something more complicated than it needs to be. If isn’t complicated or hard then it can’t be worth it. And we truly like making things complicated and hard! Look at it this way: Is jumping into mazes, working? Are you truly happy? Or as the great Dr. Phil says, "If that’s working for you." Aren’t you tired of hitting dead-ends?

Now, as you were sitting there with your parachute strapped on, looking down and waited a little while, you might have come across a beautiful meadow. This meadow is soft and welcoming and open with an incredible view on all sides. It’s an easy place to be. Now is the time to jump! You land amidst the flowers and butterflies. Something quiets in you. You notice how far you can see. You see there are many possibilities. You feel a deeper understanding for your life, friends and family. You might just meet God among the butterflies!

Keep jumping in meadows. Keep waiting for them to appear. I promise you they will. I think that’s why I like living amidst the red rocks of Sedona and the vortexes. There are many good places to prepare to jump! The vortex energy can help with creating the right environment inside us to see those meadows.

When you pass over another maze and you hear the jump master or ego say, "Ready, go." Turn to him and say, "No more mazes for me, pal, I’m waiting for that beautiful meadow to appear. I have standing appointment with God. This time I’m keeping that appointment!"

Do You Have Patterns That Don’t Serve You?

Drambour Gregory — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 18:10:35 +0000

Sometimes we have subtle patterns in our life that have a way of making our life a little more difficult. This last week I discovered one of mine: I have yet to find a mechanic in Sedona I feel confidence in. It’s not that I have looked that hard and that lack of effort is part of this story. The belt in my car has been squealing on and off since I bought it. No one has been able to really figure it out. So I lived with it!

It was getting worse and decided to find a mechanic that would finally fix it. The first person I asked led me to a mechanic in the next town about 20 minutes away. Now here’s the pattern: the fact that the mechanic was that far away made me feel comfortable about that referral. Why? Because there is no way that the thing I need to support me is close to me and easy! But it goes deeper, wait and see!

When I lived in New York, all the people that supported me were always a long drive: doctors, dentists, mechanics, chiropractors. I never seem to get off the road. When I moved to Sedona, I made myself a promise: I would find "support people" locally. And for a while I stuck to this plan. I remember the first time I went to a local dentist, I got there in three minutes and I was disoriented! In New York it used to take me 45 minutes. That plan didn’t last long and unawares I slowly found myself going out of town for things I needed. I guess I couldn’t get my head around the 3 minutes!

So I traveled 20 minutes to see the mechanic. The name of his business had the word "Bear" in it. Anyone who knows me knows how special bears are too me; so it was good omen. I walk in the office and introduced myself to the owner and then the phone rings. Right away I could sense there was a special energy about the owner and I hear him mention on the phone that his wife is a cancer survivor and their having some kind of problem.

He hangs up and I talk to him about the car. But I am thinking to myself maybe I need to say something about the phone call. I apologize and say, "I am sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I heard you mention your wife is a cancer survivor. I am too and I work with many survivors." We got into a talk about what was happening with her and I offered a few tips that I thought might help. So cool, this was meant to be and I took it all as a sign to let the guy do the work on the car and scheduled an appointment.

I wake up early, too early because it’s a long drive! He doesn’t get to my car for close to 2 hrs. No worries, I am in a place of acceptance and going with the flow. A note here: this is a long way from another Greg ten years ago! Finally they look at the car and figure out the belt is just dirty and run a bar of soap on it and the squeal suddenly stops. It was like a miracle! We all laughed at the magic of it! His mechanic says if it doesn’t work I might have to change the belt. Everyone shakes hands and there is no charge!

I head up the road and within ten minutes the off-key birds are at it again! Here is what surprised me: I didn’t get upset. Why? Because I realize that being led to the mechanic was not about the fixing the belt but offering him some advice about his wife. I believe I realized that because my awareness is higher. I followed "the path" or the omens and maybe I helped someone. I thought about turning around or going back the next day but in that moment I said to myself you need to start making your life easier and make more of an effort to find a mechanic locally.

Later that day I bring the car to a local place that I am not totally comfortable with because the owner can be a little surly. They change the belt and I am free of the noise!

That surliness or my perception that he is surly gave me a perfect excuse to give into the "pattern". And I seem to forget that the few times I did use them they always did a good job. But what do I remember? The surliness. So obviously it’s not meant to be and I need to travel 20 min!

Now here is the mind-blower! Out of nowhere, I suddenly remember that this was a pattern of my mother. She was always going far-a-field to see people too. This is not a knock on her in anyway, she was best friend and my book is dedicated to her.

So here are the questions: Are you making decisions, maybe just simple ones, which make your life more complicated than it needs to be? Do you feel that if it’s harder, it gives it more value? Do you have a commitment to make life harder? Or do you have a promise to not make it easy! Are you following a pattern of your parents but it really doesn’t serve you?

And here is the other part: There’s more to pattern, I can sense it. But I am not going to try and figure it out. I will let go of it and have faith it will come to me via an insight. This is theme with a lot of clients lately: they are trying to manage their personal growth.

This was a tough one to write about but I think it turned out ok!

The other day I was thinking about when I had cancer and a vision I use to have about what my last words would be if I didn’t make it. I could see myself smiling almost mischievously with a tiny glint on my eye and say, "Man, what a ride!" (even if the belt kept squealing the whole trip!).

A Cancer Survivor Story: Working With Doctors

Drambour Gregory — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 05:16:30 +0000

If you decide to do an alternative program either concurrently with your conventional program or solely by itself, I would take a few steps before discussing it with your oncologist.

In the last five years oncologists are becoming more open to this multi-dimensional approach. Both my chemo and radiation oncologists were very open and knew I was doing an alternative program concurrently with the treatment. And these programs were absolutely valuable. It’s the general feeling by my team of doctors that it really saved me from any bone loss in the jaw and improved my salvia flow.

The alternative program can both protect you and enhance the conventional treatment. I would not immediately discuss this with your oncologist without getting a sense of his feelings about this. Hint around it. You will get a sense of their openness. Remember, oncologists are experts in their area; they are not fluent or knowledgeable about alternative supplements. It’s difficult for them to keep update with new chemo agents. But make sure your alternative doctor or has extensive experience working with conventional protocols.

A good sign is if they work closely with oncologists. This was the case with my herbalist, Donnie Yance. In fact, Donnie lectures to conventional docs. There are a number of cancer centers around the world that incorporate a multi-dimensional approach.

If you solely do an alternative program your oncologist will more than likely attempt to talk you out of it. They will try and get details about what you are doing and who you are doing it with. My standard response: “I’m exploring another option right now.” And their reply: “What option?” Your reply: “I prefer not going into it”. They will keep pushing you but just keep smiling and saying, “I prefer not going into it.” They will give up at some point.

I can vividly remember going to see a new oncologist and his nurse asking the standard questions: “When were you diagnosed? November 97? That was a year and half ago, what have you been doing since then?” “An alternative program.” “What kind of alternative program?” I reply with my standard answer said firmly, “I prefer not to go into that.” Remember no matter what they say, don’t go into it! For example: They need it for their records, they want to see if it will interfere with their regimens.

If you have found a world-class alternative doctor, they will know if you are doing anything that will interfere with conventional therapy. You don’t want to open yourself to a long lecture on why you are making a mistake, so on and so on. What you can say to them, is this: “What supplements are contra-indicated with this chemo or radiation?”

What you ideally want to do is find an oncologist who can monitor you. To put together a team who are all on the same page. How do you make this happen? First, believe that doc is out there. I assure you they are. I found them but it took some time and determination. And if one does not appear right away, enroll your present oncologist into supporting you. This can be a great lesson in of itself.

It starts with not judging them and knowing they are doing the best they can and their perspective comes out of a long educational process that had no opening for other ways of healing. If you have no judgment of them, it will help them have no judgment of you. Remember the rule: what you feel inside will be reflected back to you.

Be patient with this process and keep centered. If you can bring a friend along on your doctor visits this can be very supportive to not getting reactive or giving anyone an opening to try and talk you out of your decisions. And this will happen,so be prepared.

Be Careful Of Gobbling Books!

Drambour Gregory — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 20:15:08 +0000

Five years ago, I had big insight about how I read books; it was like I just gobbled them up! In talking with clients, I have discovered that I am not alone in this gobbling!

Every so often, I tell the following story to clients because it really shifted me: I was reading a powerful book called The Millionaires Course by Marc Allen, who is the owner of New World Library, a big spiritual publishing house. I was flipping thru the pages and something dawned on me! This is the same stuff I have been reading for 20 years: Napoleon Hill, Andrew Carnegie, Stephen Covey, etc.. And then I asked myself a curious question: “If I have been reading the same stuff for all these years then why am I not getting it?” The obvious jumped out at me–what’s missing is the “doing”! I gobbled up these wonderful books then moved right onto the next one. I was not getting inside the book and applying what they are trying to teach.

When you read spiritual or personal growth books, you feel good; you feel what’s possible; you feel an opening to the life you dream of. You read an insightful passage and yell to your wife in the next room, “Sweetie, this is it! This guy knows me! This is exactly what I need to do!” And then in a matter of days that insightful book is residing with the other insightful books on a shelf or under the bed (my thing) and you’re onto the next one!

So what do you do? Slow down! This is my prescription to clients: Read one or two chapters a day. No more! And if there are exercises or instructions of some kind, do exactly as they say! If there is an inspiring passage, highlight it and then write the words in your personal notebook or make little cards and tape it around the house. Try to digest it slowly. Now let me offer a caution here. I don’t want you to walk thru your day “trying” to live that insight!

Don’t turn this into a personal growth treadmill. Just let yourself be gently reminded or become conscious of what you got from that passage. Perhaps, you got an insight about how everyone is in a separate reality and that we can’t change the way another person thinks. Then you get into a small conflict with your wife and suddenly you are conscious you are “doing it again”, you are not remembering she is in a different reality than you. You saw yourself suddenly! Which is a long way from being caught in the behavior and not really conscious of how you are acting.

Like me, I am sure you have a few hundred self-help books on your shelf. You could take any one of those books and study it for a lifetime and not get all it has to offer. I often joke that if I truly understood just ten percent of my own book, The Woodstock Bridge, I would turn into a ball of light!

All these books have one hidden purpose: to guide you to your innate wisdom. So slow down, brothers and sisters, the wisdom is really not in the pages but inside you. The pages are just fanning your own wisdom! Now, this doesn’t mean to stop reading my “stuff”! More fanning is always good!

A Cancer Survivor Story: The Power of Will

Drambour Gregory — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 02:25:55 +0000

I learned the power of will during my cancer journey through a very unusual process: I called it “Shower Sequencing”. Since the cancer was in my neck and tonsil it was important to keep the lymph moving there. I discovered that a method of creating movement in the lymph was to first run hot water from the shower over each side of my neck for 30 seconds and then cold water for 30 seconds! For some reason I chose to do this just before I went to sleep!

I would lean my head back, exposing my neck to the shower and go thru the sequence of hot and cold 12 times. Counting in my head 30 seconds for hot and then cold. I did this for three and half years, every night. During the spring and summer it wasn’t difficult but come late fall and winter, it was brutal! The water got considerably colder. And this is where I discovered the “power of will”.

I can remember so many times during those cold months, standing under that cold shower late at night and being one second away from bailing out. It was just to damn cold! I would say things in my head like, “I’ll just skip it tonight.” Or “I’ll cut it down to 15 seconds increments tonight, give it a rest”. We all know the process of excuses! But I just reached down inside of myself and found a toughness I didn’t know was there and hung in there and I came to understand the power of “will”.

After I was done, I always felt I had accomplished something–feeling a sense of victory: “I did it!” Of course, the girlfriend was never too happy when I got into bed! Because for some reason I always finished the “sequencing” on the cold water! Maybe I enjoyed making her an unwilling partner in my suffering! “No, sweetie, my doctor said it was important to finish on the cold.” (I am pretty sure he said that!).

If you’re going through a journey with any kind of illness there are going to come moments when you don’t want to do something. You must “cowboy or cowgirl up” and do it! It will teach you about your own strength which is so much greater than you can imagine. And learning about your strength will empower your healing. Sometimes how we heal is a healing in of itself. I not only helped my lymph to continue to move but strengthened my spirit.

As I write this and think back to those moments under the shower, I remember that I also learned about surrender. Sometimes I would let go and just surrender myself to the cold. I would disengage my thoughts. I let go of the thought that the cold water was uncomfortable and I became friends with it. The cold on my skin felt almost luxurious. The power of thought is always there to help us.

So my warrior brothers and warrior sisters, I encourage you to always try and find the gifts during your journey. It will truly change the journey.

Breaking The Friendship With Mind-Tripping!

Drambour Gregory — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 19:17:49 +0000

Last week during a session with a client, I said to her, “You have to break this friendship with mind-tripping!” We laughed at the truth of it. It’s a friendship we have nurtured for many years; mind-tripping is actually like our best friend! Here is my invitation and question to you: “When are you going to say, Thanks for the memories, pal but you are keeping me from my God given wisdom!” Remember, brothers and sisters, wisdom is a gift from the Creator, whoever that is to you. No one was left off the list!

Mind-tripping is the opposite of faith. It’s a lack of faith in our wisdom. There are a few spiritual facts that we can be sure of and this is the big one: you are living in a state of natural wisdom! That wisdom can not be destroyed.

Mind-tripping is our attempt to control. My next question to you is: “Is it working!” I would wager probably not. Obsessive thinking is a challenge or plight many clients come to me with. I feel for them because I have truly been there! And sure, I drop into some world-class mind-tripping once in while. But it’s another galaxy from what it use to be back in “the day”.

How do you stop it? First, under no circumstances do I suggest anyone try to control their thoughts. Instead, look for a nice feeling. I know it sounds simple. But I bet if you are in a nice feeling you very seldom find yourself in that place of obsessive thinking.

And most importantly let go of your judgment of your mind-tripping! That will be a big help, I promise you. See the humor in it. It’s our thoughts about our thoughts that get us in trouble. The most important thing I can tell you is that chatter in your head is not real! And when you take it seriously that’s what causes you sleepless nights. Just reflect back: Did that obsessive thinking ever amount to anything? I would estimate in most cases, it didn’t.

The strategies I suggest to clients are usually the opposite of what most teachers will encourage. It’s actually a non-strategy! The theme is consistent: When you are in your natural God-given nice feeling, you very seldom go to mind-tripping. You are in a place of natural self-esteem or the opposite of insecurity which is really the base of mind-tripping.

When I find myself thinking too much, I always try and take a moment and say to myself, “Ok, brother, let’s just have faith in our spiritual intelligence and let it guide us to what actions we need to take. This chatter in my head is not real, it’s coming out of fear or some need to control. A low mood!” Try this! Experiment! You can always go back to your buddy, mind-tripping! Take a trial separation! Don’t let your co-dependent thinking kick in: “But Greg, I don’t want to hurt his feelings!”

Just try, brothers and sisters! Experimenting equals validation!

Stuck In Illness

Drambour Gregory — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 00:44:48 +0000

Wow! What a big subject! I have had so many clients who are stuck in illness. And, personally I’ve had a great deal of experience with also being stuck in this place.

What does it mean to be stuck in illness? Simply: when you can’t seem to get well.

You can arrive at that stuck place many different ways: Conventional medicine has no more answers for you and then you explore a few alternative methods but you never seem to get totally well. Or conventional medicine doesn’t believe you’re really sick and you just live with the pain or on pain medication. Or you’re sick and never do anything about it, living with it. Or you just simply run out of the energy to try and get well.

The reasons are plentiful and sometimes very subtle but they all arrive at that same place: living in illness.

How do you get unstuck? By getting the right knowledge. This has been a theme of many of my drifts in illness. And it does feel like a drift. In 1990, I got very ill with intestinal cramping, the pain was bad. It went on for three years. No one could figure it out. And at some point, I just gave up trying. The craps would come on suddenly and for no apparent reason. Sometimes it was so bad;I would end up in the emergency room where they didn’t know what to do with me. This illness and pain changed my way of being in the world.

For 6 months, I was afraid to leave the house that I would be stuck some where, sick. For most of that time, I followed the advice of a holistic doctor who prescribed specific supplements to me. I believed in him and still do but I didn’t get better. I would never leave the house without a carry-bag of medications and herbs, a habit that took years to let go of.

One day, I was in Albuquerque and decided to stop and say hello to a famous holistic doctor who was close to some friends of mine. I decided in that moment to ask her to evaluate me. She said I had a tape worm and parasites! As soon as she told me, it made perfect sense to me. I started her program and in a matter of weeks I was finally better!

Where did I innocently go wrong in this journey?

First, because it would come and go, I got fooled into thinking I was getting better. And thus didn’t take more aggressive action. But I knew inside I wasn’t getting well. I didn’t listen to that voice inside. I didn’t have the depth of knowledge then how important that voice was.

Second, I didn’t know there were reliable holistic ways to diagnose me. This can be described as a lack of knowledge or not asking the right questions or not asking what questions I should be asking.

Third, I should have accepted that the wonderful holistic doctor I worked with was not going to get me better. The proof was evident. I was afraid to venture out into the unknown and stayed with what was familiar even though it wasn’t working! Sound familiar!

Fourth, I didn’t push the conventional doctors to give me more extensive testing. I just sat back on it, almost like I went to sleep around the idea of being well. Make sense, brothers and sisters? Being sick became familiar.

It blows my mind to think that during that time if I had the right knowledge, I could have walked into any health market and asked for herbs for parasites and in a matter of weeks I would have been well. I was sick for three years! I can’t even describe the pain I went through. Many of you know exactly what I am talking about.

Fifth, maybe I should have found someone like me! Maybe, I didn’t look for that person. A person who would say, as I say to many clients, “I know you’re tired of going to doctors, of trying this program and that one. I know you’re exhausted but you can’t give up! Keep trying, keep looking. There is always a cure. Whether it’s inside you or in some office somewhere. There is an answer. You can be well again!”

A wise friend once said to me,”The thing that will cure you is always close at hand.” She was right–it was right down the block at the health store!

Wow! I have waited a long time to write this one, brothers and sisters! I truly hope this has helped.

The Power of Acknowledgment

Drambour Gregory — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 19:13:51 +0000

Last week on a vortex experience I said something that penetrated deeply through me and my clients:”There is nothing more powerful than an acknowledged human being.” Wow! I am still trying to absorb that awesome statement. Of course, this was coming from the Old Ones so I take no credit for it. Then later on that day, a second statement:”There is nothing more beautiful than an acknowledged woman.” I felt so grateful to be able to communicate those words.

The lack of acknowledgment in partnerships in my work is an issue that comes up frequently. Eighty percent or more of my clients are women. A majority of those are between the ages of 40 and 55. It is truly my honor to work with so many women. But sadly many of them are in relationships where they don’t feel acknowledged or appreciated. And what’s important to remember, my brothers, is they don’t feel acknowledged. Start by acknowledging that! Get what I am saying? Sorry if I am little tough on you guys!

I certainly wish more men would be open to spiritual growth. When the men, husbands and boyfriends do come, I think it’s fantastic and I applaud them.

What are the components of acknowledging your partner? First and foremost, listening to them at a very deep level. Listening without giving them a solution or trying to fix them. Listening to them without thinking, waiting for your turn to speak, etc.! I joke with the husbands and tell them if they listen to their wife without giving them a solution, they will have the best sex they have ever had! Or in some cases, they will start to have sex again!

And men need to be listened to just as much. That would be my advice to women: listen to your mate the way you want to be listened too. Their feelings are their feelings. Do your best not to make them wrong.
Acknowledgment can sometimes just be something so small that you don’t think it’s necessary to make note of it. For example: “Sweetie, I really loved the way you helped those people.”

Perhaps it’s a matter of focusing on what you love about your partner as opposed to what drives you crazy. Another theme in my work with couples is what are they focusing on? Usually if they are having problems, they are focusing on what they perceive is not working, emphasis on the word perceive!

In Masuro Emoto’s work he sites the experiment that group of Japanese families did by placing three jars of rice and water by their front door. Each morning and night they would say “I love you” to the first jar, “You fool” to the second jar, and the third jar they ignored completely! After a week, the first jar started to ferment and grow, the second jar started to turn black and the third jar that they had ignored was totally dead! Think about it. That’s how important acknowledgment is.

Of course, it’s everyone’s choice to be in a relationship where that is happening.

Ask these questions: If for one moment I could put all my negative inner conversations aside, what haven’t I appreciated or acknowledged about my partner lately. See when you take your focus off the negative, what’s usually standing brightly is what you love about your partner. It’s just clouded over by negative judgmental thoughts.

I am not much on promises but if you truly acknowledge your mate, I promise you, you will experience amazing changes in them! Wouldn’t you shift if someone deeply acknowledged who you are?

And then comes, acknowledging yourself! I will leave this to another column! In fact, I plan on writing several columns on this theme, there’s a lot to talk about!

So on this day in the Magic Kingdom, I offer my deep thanks to the Old Ones, for communicating these powerful statements. A Ho, Old Ones. I am standing before you, my heart is full. A Ho