With a career in retail banking in London behind me, I’d known for a long time that I’d passed my ’sell by’ date in the industry.

I was looking for something to change in my life. Even though others had always viewed me as a go getter, and even if I had achieved things in the passed, now I felt on the edge of a void. I wanted change, but was tired, hungry for new challenges and routes to success. I felt de-motivated, tired, stuck, and out of ideas as what to do next to get out of my lethargy.

However, on that night whilst listening to that particular speaker I began to see light at the end of the tunnel. Suddenly, I began to think out of the box for the first time in such a long time.

After realising it was my present job that had become stale, rather than me, I began to get excited and confident again, realising I still had a future in what I loved!

I realised that I’d just been treading water, running my own story for such a long time, and that story needed refreshing. In short, I needed to express myself as the person I wanted to be, or needed to become. It was time to re-invent me!

So began a journey that would take me into the world of personal development, gaining knowledge and certifications in Personal and Business Coaching, Neuro Linguistic Programming, Clinical Hypnotherapy, and most recently Sport Hypnosis.

I am not simply attempting to impress you with my CV, but rather impress upon you how you too can reconnect with your essence and create a whole life relevant to who you are and what you expect today.

Now my life is changed more than I ever thought possible, and it’s been surprising how I’ve managed to facilitate those changes without resorting to drastic action. Nowadays, I’m the guy giving the motivational talks to other people.

I’m sharing my excitement, educating others to the health benefits of being true to their essence, usually beginning with the questions, ‘what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?’

These past few years have been a tremendous experience and I now feel that my destiny is in my own hands and that I can make the changes I want to see happen in my life.

For me it was about having the confidence to dream the dreams I didn’t dare to dream and having the support to keep going when things didn’t seem to be going so well.

Now I know that the person people see when they see me, and it is the one I’d want to see too if I could step outside my body and look back. Still very much a work in progress, and a vital, effervescent one at that.

We can afford breathtaking holidays traveling to far-flung places. We can surf the net at super high speed like never before, enabling us incredible access to information and ever-evolving levels of entertainment. We can alter our bodies with plastic surgery, changing ourselves physically so that the person we see in the mirror is the person we’ve perhaps imagined in our minds! The 21st century really is the cutting edge century of technology and opportunity; we live longer, and we live more.

But are we any happier?
In 1957 Gallop, the UK’s top market research company recorded 52% of the population describing themselves as very happy. By 2005, the same question brought in a response indicating only 36% now felt themselves very happy, and these levels mirror data from America and most other industrialized countries in the Western World.

How happy are you?
Further studies recently sought to build a world ranking of countries whose populations described themselves as very happy. The little Mediterranean island of Malta topped the table, followed by Denmark, Switzerland, and Columbia, with the UK coming up in 21st place!

Take a look at the graph below and notice how your particular country rated, and then ask yourself what factors might have contributed to that rating. Remember, these results are responses of REAL PEOPLE, so what causes us to feel happy, and what do you imagine has influenced a sense of happiness for them?

Life Satisfaction Index: how countries rated

Rank Country Happiness rating

1 Malta 74
2= Denmark 73
Switzerland 73
Columbia 73
5 Iceland 72
6= Ireland 71
Netherlands 71
8= Canada 69
Finland 69
Ghana 69
Sweden 69
12 Luxembourg 68
13= Guatemala 67
Norway 67
Uruguay 67
USA 67
17= New Zealand 66
Australia 66
Mexico 66
Belgium 65
21= Great Britain 64
Germany 64

Does this mean we’re all more sad and walking around with our heads full of doom and gloom these days? Not necessarily. Findings also show a far greater amount of people generally finding themselves moderately happy than had been the case in similar surveys 50 years ago. As leading psychologist at the University of Illinois, Professor Ed Diener pointed out, “The idea that modern society is a sink of unhappiness is wrong”.

In fact, 92% of people surveyed in the UK described themselves as fairly happy, rather than very happy in the new millennium. Only 8% said they were very unhappy.

Focus: what do you want?
As a coach, the first question I ask a new client is what do you want to achieve? The answer is usually a long list of what they want more of, such as work promotion, a new career, bigger/nicer house, faster car, better/new or more exciting relationships, greater wealth, etc. Then I ask what they really want and what the priorities are, to which the reply is almost always:

Better relationship(s)
Better health
More fulfilling career
A deeper connection with inner-self.

Question 2: What, if you had all that, would you really, really, really want in your life?

The answer is 100% of the time one word, happiness - I want to be happy. That’s the bottom line.

Why do you want to be happy?
And just in case you’re reading this and asking yourself why happiness is so important in our lives, this brings me to the next question; why do you want to be happy?

What causes us all to pursue happiness? Is it because happiness comes with a big cheque, such as might happen if you achieved a lottery win? No. Is it because by achieving happiness you believe life might never again be tough, that challenge would never again come knocking on your door? Certainly not. The reason we all want to be happy is because of the most basic human need, to be loved.

Economic growth is important but we shouldn’t sacrifice other things that are equally important, for example human relationships after all - we all need love and connection.
Lord Layard, former advisor to the England’s Labour Government

Think about it, without love, we die. We enter the world from our mother, through her we have life, and because of her or someone else that loves us we are fed and nurture. We are loved. We learn that by accepting someone else’s love we grow and become strong. However, as so often happens in our teenage years or early adulthood, we move into an area of evolution called independence. Here we rebel, we make mistakes, we move away from home, we create a new version of who we are, the adult us. Yet sometimes along the way we forget about that fundamental connection, what it gives us; love, as well as what causes us to feel; happiness.

There is of course another, final step in our evolutionary process after independence, that of interdependence. True interdependence means we co-exist with others from a place of genuine love and co-operation, in that we add something to their lives, and they add something extra to ours. From a coaching point of view, interdependence gives us choice, it creates options, it makes it more likely that we will move forward in a respectful and eloquent way. In short, this is the route to true happiness.

I interpret interdependence as karma in action, the law of the Universe, the basis of so many religious beliefs; what you give, so shall you receive. It’s as simple and as basic as that.

However, so many people get stuck in the evolutionary area between independence and interdependence. They fear something will be lost if they open up and give something of themselves away. Yet, whilst independence can be an attractive and useful attribute to have, without the connection and co-operation that interdependence brings, our lives are left cold, lonely, and ultimately unhappy. As the richest movie stars in the world often find, it can be lonely at the top. Loosing deep-seated human connection, becoming distrustful and disconnected with friends, family and colleagues, yet because of great performances and success, they reach the top of their trees yet when interviewed talk about how lonely they feel at the top.

It’s lonely and cold at the top… lonely and cold. And you know what? I can live without money, but I can’t live without love.
Judy Garland

Clean language accepts the belief that we get what we ask for. However, since it’s commonly known after years of research that the unconscious mind doesn’t process negatives, what we’d get from the two examples just used would be, ‘I do want to be short of money at the end of the month’, and ‘I do want to buy another pack of cigarettes! Not the desired result, I know!

Known as a ‘waking hypnosis’, NLP is the study of communication; the words and representations we use both internally (that inner voice) or externally. I mention the word ‘representations’ since ‘it’s not what you say, but how you say it’ that can make such a huge difference to your life and the results you have.

Imagine someone saying ‘I love you’ whilst looking into your eyes, soft voice, candles shimmering over a beautiful table in the most romantic restaurant. Fabulous, right? Then imagine how it might feel for someone having been beaten, cowering in fear, with their tormentor screaming with anger that they only do it because they love them. Same words. Two completely different worlds.

So, the words we use are important, as are the tonality and context they’re said in. The third and final area of communication is in our physiology, our body, how we look, stand, or carry ourselves. Think back to some of Think about other often used top tips for creating and attracting success; ‘look the part/dress to impress/act ‘as if’/be aware of who your peer group are’, then ask yourself how you could improve the communication you have with yourself and those around you.

What matters most in communication - words, how we say them, or what we look like? You might be surprised:

Physiology = 55%
Tonality = 38%
Words = 7%

In essence, words are vitality important and so is the way you say it, and how you carry yourself physically when you say it.

Say what you mean
So, clean language is saying what you mean. Think how you talk to and about yourself? Are you supportive, complementary, or your worst critic, first in line to doubt any bright idea? Hear are a few examples of what clean language might look like as opposed to the disempowering messages we sometimes opt for.

- I really believe I’d be great at this. (clean).
- I’m not sure, but I think if all goes well and I don’t run out of money first I might be good. (disempowering!!!!).
- I will take these steps because they will lead me forward. (clean).
- I’ll try, and if I don’t fail who knows where they’ll take me. (disempowering!!!!!)
- What I really want to do is this. (clean).
- I don’t know what I want. I did want to do this, but I worry I won’t get support and I’ll look a fool and I won’t be any good. (Disempowering!!!!!)

Of course, I accentuated the disempowering phrase or when you think about it, have you ever heard anyone come up with phrases similar to those above?

Find a model
The ultimate aim would be to decide once and for all to only ever use clean language from this moment on. If you did, who might you be able to model as a guiding light of how the positive effects of using clean language could be?

Role models can be people we know, get to know, work with, study with, read about in books, and admire from movies and DVDs, etc. for example, Richard Branson is a role model to many entrepreneurs throughout the world, yet how many actually know him as a friend? Sometimes it’s enough to read their book or study what characteristics made them who they are in some way.

Top tips
1. Listen and become aware of how many times you belittle or reduce your light in the world. We all do it sometimes, and just imagine if we did it less how we might then shine more?

2. Make a list of negatives you use. ‘Can’t, won’t, don’t, shouldn’t’ etc. Thing is, the unconscious mind doesn’t process negatives; so ‘I don’t want to be a smoker’ really becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, ‘I do want to be a smoker’. Ouch! Not nice. Make a list every time you say anything negative. Write it down.

3. Look at your plan and see if it can be written in a more positive, enthusiastic, fun, strong, and loving way. In fact, do it anyway! Plans tend to happen more rapidly when we work ‘on’ them and ‘in’ them, meaning they need developing and growing just as surely as you grow and develop.

4. Tonality - even when you’re in a new place in your life, make it sound fabulous and confidant. Sounding confident and self-assured about your project will increase your effectiveness, and you will find yourself believing it too, sooner than you think. Practice to a mirror, to a friend, your coach, the world do it!

5. Physiology. 55%. This is the most instant way to feel better, and for other people to see the difference; walk taller (in every way). Look the part, walk the part, play the part, and finally you will become the part.

Early summer, late winter.
Here in London we’ve been basking in beautiful near summer weather for the past few weeks, a full 3 months early. Yet now tonight we have snow forecast over the next couple of days. No matter what we think is happening, nature is confused. Trees and flowers in full blossom thinking it to be mid to late April will now lose their colour to late frosts and snow.

Is it true; are we to blame for Earth’s atmosphere warming to artificially high levels?

I was recently inspired by the new movie, An Inconvenient Truth. Based on US Senator Al Gore’s illuminating and extraordinary slide show dealing with the onset of global warming dating back to the industrial revolution, the movie contains all the latest factual information, plus strategies of what we as individuals can do to alleviate the situation. It most worryingly shows how the human production of CO2 and other harmful greenhouse gasses have dramatically increased in the latter half of the 20th century.

Tackling such a serious subject head on, I also found famously heavy and some-might-say-boring Al Gore to be light, informative, funny and a very human person indeed.

I don’t usually make movie recommendations during my newsletters and articles, however on this occasion I would recommend and encourage you to seek out ‘An Inconvenient Truth’. Have a look at the official website (link below) and take an extra step forward today.

What would it take for you to become inspired?
Being inspired to make positive changes for our planet and future generations surely is the biggest legacy any of us can leave, isn’t it? I’m currently coaching with Tom, a young man in The Netherlands who’s re-training in order to move into environmental research to reduce and reverse global warming, and even though much of the technical side of what he does is completely over my head, his focus and dedication is totally inspirational to me.

The spectrum of what we can all do is huge. And just to bring this back into the area of life coaching & personal development, it’s the area known as ‘contribution’.

Of course, there is also a debate doubting the present scientific data. Some suggest the Earth warms and cools as part of its greater long-term cycle, and that what is happening now is simply a part of that. It’s mentioned the oceans produce far more CO2 than any human factory ever could, that cows produce more methane than a human ever could, and that most of the predictions published by scientists throughout the past 20-30 years have proved either inaccurate or just plain wrong.

Personally I lean on the side of global warming being a reality, and one I can effect. I believe we have an obligation to future generations to safeguard their world whether we have irrefutable evidence or not. If we took no action, believing scientists to be wrong, and they turned out to right, by that time we might have inflicted irreversible harm on the world they inherit.

So, what some actions we can take that will tell future generations that even if the scientists are right or wrong we took care of their planet anyway? Here are a few handy hints I’ve picked up along the way, which as well as helping reduce global warming will also cut down your fuel bills and make you more healthy!

1. Leave the car at home more often, especially for short trips. Use public transport, walk to the shops instead of driving. As well as saving money on gas (petrol), carrying the bags and walking will be great for your body.

2. As light bulbs blow in the house, replace with low emission bulbs and also switch lighting and other appliances off in rooms or areas not in use. Think TV, DVD, music system, think big savings on your fuel bill each year!

3. Take a shower instead of a bath. Showers use only around a 5th water compared to taking a bath.

4. Recycle household waste. I know some countries and cities view this with different levels of urgency. Even here in London some councils are more proactive than others. I just moved from a lackluster one to a really good one, and now have separate bins for garden and vegetable waste, one for cardboard, plastic and glass bottle, papers and books, etc, and everything else goes in the regular black bag destined for a landfill. What I’ve noticed however, is since I’ve been doing this the size of the black bag is smaller and smaller as I feel better and better.

5. Become more eco savvy. Check items that have less, or more easily recyclable packaging. This gives supermarket shopping a whole new twist, which for those of us who seem to spend hours in the places each week, helps pass the time and make the experience a whole lot more interesting.

And finally
It has been suggested that intention is everything. In the case of global warming, whichever side of the debate you’re on, your intention is still so important, and asking the question, what condition do you want to leave the planet in for the future, does make a difference, not least to you.